Laurinaitis Interruptus

Coitus interruptus, also known as the withdrawal or pull-out method, is a method of birth-control in which a man, during intercourse withdraws his penis from a woman’s vagina prior to ejaculation

Yeah. It’s like that.

EVERY. TIME. Something interesting gets started in the ring…here comes Laurinaitis Interruptus pulling out prior to our ejaculation!

Ok. Yeah. I know it’s a gross comparison. Seriously, I just like making sex jokes. I know now you can’t stop thinking of Laurinaitis during sex! I’m sorry! I’M SORRY! But ya know, ejaculation…excitement…mark out…it works, right? No? Yeah. Fuck that! It’s hilarious! SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT!

Motherfucker interrupted 3 times last night! One of which to tell Miz and R-Truth to leave! Ya know…those guys he fucking hired back even though he knew they were out of control? Now you gon’ be pissed when they’re…out of control? Really, writers? The fuck is this shit?

I’ve just started venting all my frustrations in the writing to @WWERAWGM. Bullshit!

Ok, the first time, I get it. You gotta add to the drama. How long can you have HHH just standing in the room yelling for Nash? The problem is that WWE is overusing this. A wrestler calling someone out and then someone else who they’re not calling out comes out. It happens every week now, sometimes multiple times. It’s a little much. It’s been a while since we had someone being attacked in their house though. I, for one, enjoy seeing storylines that take place in multiple locations. Y’all remember that whole feud with The Rock and Stone Cold for the Intercontinental Title where they fought on bridges and on river fronts? Titles going in the water, wrestlers being thrown over bridges…

Maybe HHH hunting down Nash at his home wouldn’t have been a bad idea. He’s a rebel, after all. He’s the fucking Cerebral Assassin! C’mon! He still could have gotten his ass kicked…maybe even left for dead since he would be in Nash’s home. That would have been interesting. Did HHH survive? He goes missing for a couple of weeks.

He even interrupts you as you're reading this post. See?

Anyway! I digress! So, I guess I understand Laurinaitis coming out at the beginning of the show.

But damn…why are people always interrupting a CM Punk promo?! Shit was just about to get good! Pulled out again! Says he’s there to “Give the WWE Universe what they want.” Ya know what I want? For y’all to let CM Punk finish a promo so he can get over! Not everyone has to interrupt every promo. Sometimes there can just be a fucking promo and leave it at that!

Then interrupting the Cena segment at the end of the show! I mean, I can’t complain too much because it was Cena…but real talk…WTF. We won’t even discuss that the fans have wanted Zack Ryder FOREVER and he finally gets a main event match and WWE buries him again! Sidenote, that’s fucking bullshit! And they won’t let him cut a fucking promo either! BULL. SHIT.

By the third time he interrupted I just wanted Laurinaitis off my screen. He’s not entertaining, he’s not a good heel. He just gets heat because he’s boring as fuck and no one wants to hear him talk, man. I’m yelling,

“OH MY GOD! SHUT UP AND GO BACKSTAGE!” at my TV.

Nope. Still there. Gonna let Cena choose his own partner, huh? How nice of you. Cena and The Rock. For no reason. It makes no sense. The Rock doesn’t have beef with Miz and R-Truth…what the fuck is the point beside WWE gargling The Rock’s balls?

I need Laurinaitis to stop withdrawing my mark outs, k? Can CM Punk get a promo in? All the way through, folks? Can we build up a feud without a GM interrupting every promo…every non-match attack? Really.

I need WWE to stop interrupting every time someone cuts a promo. It’s ok to let a promo be a promo. Promos can lead to matches without all those involved being there to agree to it. How many times have we seen?

PROMO.
INTERRUPTION FROM PERSON PROMO IS ABOUT.
INTERRUPTION FROM GM.
MATCH BOOKED.

How many times can that happen? Damn.

It’s about diversity.
I know you don’t think so, WWE…

But it’s cool.

5 thoughts on “Laurinaitis Interruptus

  1. The only good part about the Johnny Ace interruptions was that Punk referenced Laurinaitis’ days as a part of the late 80s tag team The Dynamic Dudes with Pre-Franchise Shane Douglas. Oh, and they could’ve done the Cena vs Rock thing at the last Wrestlemania, because as a fan that misses JYD vs. Dibiase more than Rock vs. Stone Cold, I’m over wanting the “Attitude Era” back. I just want wrestling that isn’t muddied by the right wing political views of the CEO and his wanna be politician wife.

    • OMG! YES! I admit, there are times where I just want ’98 Stone Cold to come out and Stun everyone so we can start the fuck over…

      But, I mainly want WWE to stop pretending as if the Attitude Era didn’t happen and that this PG stuff is where it’s at. You’ve had the Attitude Era…and you can’t not do edgy anymore. It’s part of what wrestling is supposed to be forever, in my opinion.

      Like you said, a lot of it has to do w/ Linda wanting a political career. I’m tired of it too.

      WWE is way too safe. I’m gonna have to look up some more DiBiase stuff…and watch more Lucha Libre USA. I’m just burnt out on WWE’s predictable, safe, stale storylines right now.

  2. I watched the beginning of that clip (most ‘Raw’ I’ve watched in October I think, lol) and i see that Mason Ryan is back. He is freakishly huge. What I don’t get is how they can release someone like Chris Masters–who was starting to shine on Superstars–and give A-Show airtime to someone with zero track record. Now, I’m not the type to say that power-wrestlers are automatically going to ‘blow up’ or injure someone, or that they’re automatically not talented, but let’s take note of something. Like I said, the guy is huge. The fact that he’s debuting/redebuting on the A-show proves that McMahon is STILL gaga for gargantuans, and that is disappointing.
    You have guys like Seth Rollins or Antonio Cesaro having to spend time in FCW, yet they’re already competent wrestlers.Sure, Ryan spent time in FCW as well, but I guarantee you he gets preferential treatment due to his physique. They’re always looking for the ‘next big thing,’ and they take a LOT of chances whenever they have someone come onto the scene who is a massive individual. It really sets a bad precedent in a business that traditionally required dues to be paid in one way or another.

    • I agree with every single word of this. So much.

      Aside from the way WWE treats Women’s Wrestling, I think this is what pisses me off the most about the product. It always has. I can’t stand the way Vince just gets off on these big guys who half the time suck ass.

      Plus, I think the mystique and intimidation that comes with being a big guy in wrestling is lost of they’re all big guys. It’s like,

      “Oh, another big guy…ok…seen it before. Batista did it better!” Not really, but whatever…

      It’s the same w/ these Giants. They had Big Show, Great Khali, Kane and to some extent Mark Henry being billed as these superhumans. Kind loses it’s novelty when you have 3 or 4 of them…

      There was only one Andre The Giant. Just sayin’, WWE.

      I’m gonna have to add Seth Rollins and Antonio Cesaro to my research list though! Thanks!

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