“You know that was fake, right?”
….I want to punch you in the face. Wrestling fans are not idiots. You’d think as a wrestling fan, you would know that.
I have read lots of commentary about Punk’s promo last night and today. Yes, everyone knows it was a work. Yes, McMahon would have had to approve it. No, Vince would not have let Punk ramble on talking shit about his family for 7 minutes. No, this doesn’t mean wrestling or WWE is necessarily changed for the better. No, this is not the first time someone has done this. No, casual fans were not gonna get all the references CM Punk made.
None of that matters.
This shit right here? Best promo of the PG Era. Period. Bar None. Maybe the best promo since Stone Cold and The Rock left the WWE. Maybe one of the best promos of the last 10 years. If you think any of that up there matters…you’ve missed the point. The point is it was a completely badass promo. Whether it was a work or not, whether Vince co-signed it or not. THIS. WAS. BADASS.
I was half paying attention by the end of RAW, it was a good show. I just had a lot going on. Punk came out and set down. I instantly grinned because I love when he sits for promos. It’s his way of saying “This is my time. This is my space. I own it. You will pay attention to me.” Which, as we’ve discussed before, is a quality I believe all Main Eventers should possess.
Punk says “Oh, I’m breaking the 4th wall! Hi!” and my RUH-ROH Meter perked up. I knew shit was about to go down. Then he starts talking about how he’s not promoted. He’s not on any of the merchandise. This is good, but lots of people do this self interested garbage. He goes in on the fans…again, it’s been done. Constantly. And then,
“A man who is a millionaire, but should be a billionaire. You know why he isn’t a billionaire? He surrounds himself with douchebags like Johnny Laurinaitis.” (paraphrasing). My jaw just dropped. What did he just say?!
“…if the company will be better once Vince McMahon is dead.” Oooooooooooh Shiiiiiiiit!
“…his idiot daughter and doofus son-in-law!” HOLY. FUCKBALLS.
Mic cut. Screen goes to black. OH MY GOD WAS HE FOR REAL?!
Of course he wasn’t. But we as wrestling fans love that. Especially as smarks. We love those few precious seconds where a promo can be so amazing…where a match can be so life-like that for just those few seconds it makes us question our reality.
This promo is amazing. It is groundbreaking because it catered to the Internet Wrestling Community. It was a promo catered specifically to Smarks. Punk took everything we as Smarks believe about WWE and threw it our face. That’s why our jaws were on the floor. He made it look, feel and sound so real. That’s why Twitter blew the fuck up. That’s why Colt Cabana was trending. It’s no secret that WWE and specifically Vince isn’t a fan of the IWC…so for this to happen Wow. For Vince to approve, or the Punk to cater this promo to us, even if it was just this promo, says something about our status in the world of wrestling in general.
In the poll on WWE's Facebook page right now about how fans feel about Punk’s suspension, most fans are siding with CM Punk. This means, in my opinion, that the average wrestling fan in the internet age is a Smark. It shows for the average fan this is the kind of promo we want to see. This is the kind of television we want. Again, we do not want the PG-Era.
I am a huge mark for promos, actually. I may love me a match where all involved can actually wrestle…but at the end of the day, I’m in it for the promos. For me there are just promos that I remember, that I get very excited talking about. The Rock throwing the shirt over Michael Cole’s face. The Rock w/ Lillian Garcia talking about The People’s Strudel. Ric Flair’s promos in NWA (Shoutout to 8-Bit for hipping me to those). Just about all of DX’s promos I remember. CM Punk’s promo last night will be considered one of the best promos of all time in WWE history. Guaran-damn-tee it! I will remember it forever, and I won’t be the only one.
After this promo, my mind was completely blown. The screen went black, and I could not form coherent thoughts for a full 5 minutes. I just set there jaw-slacked trying to describe to my fiancé who was not watching the show what just happened that was so amazing. I’m not a person who gets speechless…it was just…magic on a fucking stick. I get chills just thinking about it!
CM Punk is my hero because it takes a lot of balls to do something like that. Gimmick or not, to pull something like that off…to make it believable. It takes so much talent, and courage, and just fucking balls to walk out there and own that as if it’s real. To fool us, even just for a second. I admire anyone who can pull off that kind of badassness.
CM Punk deserves every amount of praise he is getting, and make no mistake, this promo mattered.